Africa Speaks Reasoning Forum

Why Do Black Men Choose White Women?
©1998/1999 Rosie Milligan, Ph.D


Do Black men perceive White women as more beautiful, sensuous, and submissive than Black women? What impact did the nightmare of slavery have on the Black woman regarding her attitude towards her body and sex? An excerpt from the book...


I want to make it understood that I am not against interracial marriages; everyone should have the right to choose his or her own soul mate. But we are in great need of examining the reasons why Black men are choosing White women...

Let's first examine the Black woman. To understand the present condition of any sex or race, the past condition or history must be examined and understood. Black men have no standard to measure the African American woman other than the European standards.  All men must realize that the Black woman has a unique perspective; she has a background and history of her own that is far different from those of women of other ethnic groups.

Many loving relationships have been ruined between Black women and their men because of a lack of knowledge about the Black woman's history. The relationship between White men and Black women were the major factors in creating the brain damage the Black man has today for the White woman.

Black women do not embrace their sexuality as freely and honestly as other women. This is due to her being made to feel ashamed of her body, and due to her history of rape at a very early age.  Many White men had their very first (and best) sexual encounters with a Black woman, so that they could keep their own women pure and unspoiled until marriage.  They raped the young black female, usually by the age of 13.  

I was told by the elders that when the White men entered a Black man's cabin, the Black man was made to leave the cabin or was made to stay and watch. I was told that when the White men finished he would pat the Black man on the head while leaving and the Black man would say "Massa, I hope you liked it."  The White man would respond, "Yes, good pussy boy," as he went home to his innocent sleeping beauty. Thus, since White women were not labeled sexually promiscuous savages, they do not come under the scrutiny for their sexual appetites or behavior that Black women do.  

A Black woman's sexual experiences, the social setting in which she was reared, her physical capabilities, religious background, and upbringing all have a strong impact and influence on how she genuinely feels about sex; how much she enjoys sex; her willingness to explore various positions an exotic practices during sex. Obviously, the Black woman is still haunted by the effects of slavery on her sexuality.  As we approach the new millennium, 135 years post Emancipation Proclamation, Black girls and Black women are still the most frequent victims of rape and assault.

What does all this have to do with Black men choosing White women?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, one out of every 20 marriages is interracial.  There were to 246,000 Blacks married to Whites in this country last year, almost four times the number in 1970. According to statistics, the number of Black men that are married to White women far outnumber any and all other cross-cultural marriages.

The White woman has for years been portrayed as the very essence of beauty and the epitome of all that is good. America has done a great job of selling the White woman.  It is not just the Black man who feels his self-esteem heightened by having her.  Alternatively, the Black woman has been portrayed very negatively in the media. Only recently having seen her passionately making love.  You have seen her raped, abused, and offering to perform oral sex for drugs.  The Black woman has been given such titles as gold digger, male basher, sapphire, and bitch.

Girls and women who are victims of physical and sexual abuse have difficulty in the areas of sensuality and sexual intimacy. Yet, Black females continue to search for love and Black men to search for sex. In their quest for love, women get sex and a baby and left alone.  Black women want to be loved, not sexed. Black women want their men to come home and help them formulate a definition of Black man and Black woman that works for them. The Black man needs sex as a means of determining his self worth, and the Black woman because of her history, is afraid of it.  These differences make communication between the Black male and female on sexual issues very difficult.

Is sex that important to a Black man?  Sex is one of the most sought after experiences, and (besides money), is the only factor in our civilized societies that people pursue at the risk of causing harm to themselves.  Sex is the only form of gratification within reach for the economically deprived male.  He cannot take a weekend cruise.  He cannot hide away in his yacht at sea.  He finds himself trying to crawl back into the uterus for comfort via the warm vagina.  The vagina become the hideout for Black men seeking to escape the woes of life's challenges.

Additionally, many Black men were encouraged as boys by their fathers and friends to "get you some White pussy, man!"  I remember hearing men who lived in the South asking man who visited the North, "man, did you get you some White pussy?"

A Black man like any other man, wants the best that life has to offer, and for many Black men that means having a White woman.  The best looking by European standards.  The best sex -- as they have seen in pornographic movies and magazines for years. A push over -- the White woman is said to be very submissive to the Black man.  Some believe that the White woman may be submissive to the Black man because he treats her the way that she has been portrayed, as a precious stone, a royal queen, and a Virgin Mary (once she gets out of bed).

Many reasons have been given as to why Black men cross the color line. I have heard and read reasons as simple as "opposites attract" to "the Black man wants to get revenge." I believe that after reading this entire book, you truly understand the Black man's relationship with the Black woman and why he chooses the White woman.

http://www.askheartbeat.com/html/body_article35.html

when does the attack of the black male end?

first we were all endangered.
then we all wanted white women.
then we all sold dope uncontrollably
lately we all been living secret lives as bisexuals
now...we want white women again?

i have been to cities where they must pass out white men to black women like traffic tickets but i wouldnt say there is a "problem" worth studying.

we do what we do mostly out a lack of culture. but there is no epidemic going on. so lets put this one to rest.

p.s. why are people obsesses w/ the black male anyway? lol

Iyawo_Olukun,

The issue is not that black males chose white partners. That is their right, however what needs to be examined is the underlying reasons behind Black males placing a higher value on those who white or light skinned. This false standard of beauty which many have understandably imbibed through living in the anti-Black system, is directly connected to a lot of other things.

Naturally, in reclaiming the best wisdom of our ancestors, we have to examine the social conditioning that makes us prefer slim, European looking people above others, whose quality of character may very well be much higher.

It amazes me how anyone could even remotely believe that a WW's quality of character is much higher than others.  I must say their PR machine and world class marketing is awesome, because some BM continually ignore every flaw unique to WW no matter what acts they commit.

peace and hotep,

make a change, you know tayimba placed a comma in the wrong location so you unfortunately misinterpreted him ( i will place the comma in the right place;

"naturally, in reclaiming the best wisdom of our ancestors, we have to examine the social conditioning that makes us prefer slim, european looking people, ____above others whose quality of character may very well be much higher."  

get it , ____above others whose quality of character may very well be much higher.  this does not imply what you thought.  it seems that we are always at each other throat because of the 'willie lynch syndrome'. the captives are pitted against their own differences and given over to trust only their masters.

yan, interesting but the doctor has more issues than i do. wow, check her out;
 
*what impact did the nightmare of slavery have on the black female regarding its attitude towards its body and sex? (does the author even care about what impact did the nightmare of slavery have on the black male regarding its attitude towards its body and sex?) it seems that she is biased. please correct me if i am wrong.  [smiley=lipsrsealed2.gif]

firstly, she keeps referring to african male and female captives as man and woman. this is far from the truth. we were kept in amorica to be laborers and breeders. we were and are in many respects still negroes, the beast. how dare the author elevate us animals automatically and magically to higher status within this monsterous society which she terms 'civilization'.

secondly, her analysis begins withe "Let's first examine the Black woman".  seems reminiscent of 'let us make man'.

1.men must realize that the black female has a unique perspective. ---
so does the black male.

2.a lack of knowledge about the black female's history.----
which is the same lack of knowledge about the black males history.

3.'white' men and black female were the major factors in creating the brain damage the black male has today.---
but the question is pointed to black males specifically.

4.black females do not embrace their sexuality as freely and honestly as other women.-----
too general. other women like who?

5.it being made to feel ashamed of its body, and due to its history of rape at a very early age.------
the same happens to 'white' women and all females are not raped.

6.'white' men had their very first (and best) sexual encounters with a black female.-------
why emphasize 'best' if the autor is victimizing black females.   tell that to poor 'whites'.

7.they raped the young black female, usually by the age of 13.-------
and poor 'whites' raped 13 year old white females. again there are no black females who escaped being raped.

8.when the 'white' men finished he would pat the Black man on the head.-----
we do not have a general history of being men in amorica. we are captives, generally speaking. the author pretends that the 'black man' exists in amorica. very few black men made it past the middle passage and beyond. instead of bashing who she is actually mad at (the so-called successful 'made in amerca' black 'man'),  the author spews her venom at black male  'beasts of burden and breeders.

9. "Massa, I hope you liked it."  The 'white' man would respond, "Yes, good pussy boy,".-------
now, i could never get away withe such language on this site without being censored. this is as allegorical as some biblical passages. excuse me, but i need a reference.

10.a black female's sexual experiences..........is still haunted by the effects of slavery on her sexuality. ------
so, how can the author negate the effect on black males.

11.black girls and black women are still the most frequent victims of rape and assault. ------
could i see the documentation for that accusation? who is it against males in general.

12.the Black woman has been portrayed very negatively in the media. -------
the demonization of the black male image began after the civil war.  during and after reconstruction the kkk assisted in such propaganda like 'the negro, the beast', and 'birth of a nation'. the demonization of black male and female images continue to this very day. this article /book is a prime example as well as what black 'men and women' have to do to get an oscar these days.

13.Only recently having seen her passionately making love.---haille berry, right?

14.America has done a great job of selling the 'white' woman.----if i was stupid, this sell-out author would have me sold. she is doing a wonderful job of selling the 'white' woman and she expect the few african men and women  in amorica to buy her bs. fransis cress welsing should slap the excrement out of Rosie Milligan, Ph.D. i mean slap here withe some knowledge about the subject.
 
15.Girls and women who are victims of physical and sexual abuse have difficulty in the areas of sensuality and sexual intimacy.-----
yes, for the few abused ones this is true. but generally this is not the case.

16.black females continue to search for love and black males to search for sex. everone who are familair withe the 'vagina monologue' know that its is only women who perpectuate the vulgar language for their sex organ. the book 'in search of good pussy' is very critical of how female are still making bad choices in males. the term is so misleading that men treat it like a soft furry inanimate object. serious mis-education.

17.females get sex and a baby and left alone.  black females want to be loved, not sexed.------
unraped black females and males behaving like the 'breeders'  they are. black females want 'jesus'. a savior. their own standards of beauty reflect this.

18. black females want their males to come home and help them formulate a definition of Black man and Black woman that works for them. -------
first realise that if you are behaving like animal, you can not be 'men and women'. men and women behave differently. they are responsible and they will go to war if you offend them. therefore, there are very few black men and women in amorica. lots of cattle though.
 
19.the black male needs sex as a means of determining his self worth, and the black female because of her history, is afraid of it.------
see # 18.

20.is sex that important to a black man? -----
no.

21.sex ........is the only factor in our civilized societies...---
our civilized societies? ya'll , the author is 'washed'. we have witnessed civilization in this lifetime.

22.sex is the only form of gratification within reach for the economically deprived male. ------
what ever happen to heroin. it is cheap,affordable and easy to cop.  

23.sex is the only form of gratification within reach for the economically deprived male. ------
what ever happen to heroin. it is cheap,affordable and easy to cop.  

24.The vagina become the hideout for Black men....----
check out the vagina monologue.

25. remember hearing men who lived in the south asking man who visited the north, "male, did you get you some 'white' pussy?" ------
i know the author is not making fun of emmit till. people in the south are still afraid to talk like that. 'without sanctuary'? i think the author needs some 'white' pussy.

26.A black man like any other man, wants the best that life has to offer.------
no, a black man and woman want freedom, justice and equality. however, selling books affords one the best that life has to offer.

27.some believe that the 'white' woman may be submissive to the black male........-----
yes, i see them covering or changing the position of their purses, locking their car doors, or avoiding the elavato whenever a black male appears.

28. ......and a Virgin Mary (once she gets out of bed). ----
the author has to be a fat slob and a doctor. show me a picture of this female.

29. why black male (or female) cross the color line.-----
why doe the chicken cross the road?  heck,to get to the other side. still looking for a diana ross or oj style of freedum.
 
30.simple as "opposites attract" to "the black man wants to get revenge." -------
i guess the same applies to black females. or is this just a
BLACK MALE BASHING. victims blaming victims instead of the system of racism('white' supremacy) all of us are subject to exept the author.
 
31.after reading this entire book, you truly understand the Black male's relationship with the black females and why he chooses the 'white' woman. --------
not.
but i would recommend a better book [smiley=lipsrsealed2.gif]:



THE UNITED INDEPENDENT COMPENSATORY CODE/SYSTEM/CONCEPT which is a textbook for thought, speech, and/or action for victims or racism('white' supremacy) by neely fuller, jr.
neely fuller jr's basic premise is this:
"if you do not understand 'white' supremacy(as racism)-----what it is, and how it works------
everything else that you understand,
will only confuse you".
on page 44 the author lists
Four Basic "Show-Offisms" By/Among the Victims of Racism being:
1. "Showing-Off" (to each other) the things that 'white' people have allowed them to obtain.
2. "Showing-Off" (to each other) the information that 'white' people have allowed them to obtain.
3. "Showing-Off" (to each other) their ability to belittle (each other.)
4. "Showing-Off" (to each other) their ability to make sexual impressions on each other.
his explanation is that many non'white' people spend much time/energy/money "Showing-Off" (to each other).
they do this as a means of trying to make the overall effects of racism ('white'supremacy) on their "personal affairs" seem unimportant and/or non-existent.
this 'show-offism' serves no constructive purpose. it only helps non-'white' people to become more pitiful, primitive, stupid and/or silly, incomparison to the activities of 'white'supremacist, and/or, in comparison to 'white' people in general.
on page 64 neely fuller jr states:
DO NOT ACCUSE ANY NON-'WHITE' PERSON. OR PERSONS, OF BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF YOUR ECONOMIC PROBLEMS.
reason/explanation being that in a socio-material system dominated by 'white' supremacists(racist), the 'white' supremacist are responsible for all problems involving the people who are subject to them.


*do black men perceive ‘white’ women as more beautiful, sensuous, and submissive than black women?  --------
No , but the author was probably jilted by a young black male “professional” at some point in her life. Maybe it was oj….  [smiley=lipsrsealed2.gif]


I want to make it understood that I am not against interracial marriages;-------
liar.

everyone should have the right to choose his or her own soul mate.------
even if they are insecure, fat and sloppy,  professional black male haters. i don't think that fit african amorican women have issues withe immature males.

But we are in great need of examining the reasons why black men are choosing 'white' women... -----
if i am going to get paid......Rosie Milligan, Ph.D

bottom line: a real man does not engage in detrimental acts.

Why Do Black Men Choose White Women?  
©1998/1999 Rosie Milligan, Ph.D
SHE'S GOT TO BE '''''''''''''''''''''''''white' [smiley=lipsrsealed2.gif]


freedomisahapislave

Blessings and Hotep Everyone

I have been debating this issue with a brethren of mine for a while now,since we saw an increase of black males/rastafarian brothers at alarming rates dating and getting married to white females,firstly im not against interracial marriages i was just wondering why it is happening at such alarming rates for instance majority of the big atheletes have white wives and i started to reason/research on it, many rastafarian  brethrens and brothers around my district have white girlfriends/wives and my analysis is this I think many brothers/brethrens are dating white women is not based on love really as other brothers who got white wives to me it is more based on that some white women are more submissive naturally and many black men find that attracting and amusing in some ways because they know very well black women wont do half the things white women do for them like spend all they cash on them so they can feel good n look good,baby them and treat them like if their a god and in return these men treat these ladies like they are lesser than them when in turn a black man is actually possessing the same qualities of a white slave master when he does that to a white women r any women of any race,and to rastafarian brethren from talking to some with white girlfriends they were the ones who actually told their girlfriends they had to be fari if they loved them and no one has the right to pressure anyone into fari,fari is a spiritual trod one must find it on thy own not by force or out of love and many brethrens where proud to tell me such and some also confessed that they only lie with they white fari ladies to bring forth youth but they actually have black fari ladies on the side who they feel more comfortable with, and it was astonishing to me to actually believe these men call them selves fari and fari elders it was shocking.
In closing every book has 3 things a beginning a middle and a end and wellz the beginning should be just as beautiful as the end meaning every black man has the right to choose the love of his life whether black,white,hindu,indian but for the right reasons not wrong ones.
Hotep

I really don't think there is just one answer why thay  do but ,thay seam so happy with them! I see this question on a lot of forums I guess it bothers black woman. But for me I don't care why I just don't. [smiley=disappointed.gif]

 I don't think there is one answer for this question too .

We should remember that many White people especially White men have a big problem with mixed couples around , especially , if woman is white , attractive , well educated and so on ... They will call her all derogatory names like " white sl..." ( you know what I mean )although the couple may be a good , loving family and have children . I have experienced rejection and I have taken many insults from many Whites which doesn't bother me because I have found what I was looking for - the love of my life .

Creating mixed relationship and mixed family it's a real challenge .
Sorry for my English , again . It's not my native language .
Maya .

Hmmmm,
I find this thread, as well as the others, extremely interesting. The author of "Why do Black men choose White women" appears, to me, to be very passionate about this particular subject. Due to the fact I am not a black female I can't really offer her, or anyone for that matter, an emphathetic ear. I think that she attempts to create a normative social reconstruction of something that has always been a taboo subject and in doing so looses sight of what another responder calls "White supremacy". I would further add that White supremacy has also pitted black males and females against each other and their self estteem down a notch. I am a biracial male who believes that bi/multiracial persons are in a racial classification different than either one of their respective halves. I have done extensive research on the differences between mono-racial black people (Both parents having predominately black genetic structures) as opposed to bi/multiracial persons. There are several. Now you ask what does this have to do with anything related to the topic? I'll state that in the studies i've done the group of mixed persons I associate with and my own ideology thinks that there is some evidence the mono-racial black male has predelictions towards White women and light skinned mulatta women. I can't and won't speak for White men, however, for myself and other biracial males i can honestly say that the majority of us prefer our own "Kind" and are thoroughly disgusted when black, white and other mono-racial groups are with mixed women. My message is to mono-racial men and women.Deal with your issues and please stay away from bi/multiracial women in order to give us a healthier outlook on our race and the continuation of children from two mixed persons.

It never ceases to amaze me. The reality of inter-racial dating is not of rights but one of responsibilities. The reality is that over 60% of Black house holds are headed by black women. There are thousands of black children without healthy male role models in their lives. Our overall general soci0-economic condition dictates that it is a revolutionary responsibility to the race to practice race first as marcus garvey taught anything less than this is traitorous. It is irresponsible for a black man or women to involve themselves in intimate relations with other ethnic groups when we as a people are being faced with racial genocide and systematic distruction. Those Africans who want to be liberal on this issue are still drowning in their adulation of white people and have yet to grasp the severity of our problem
   
                                     peace, amongst the Africans
                                     black_truth

One day we will all learn how and where all the races of these planets came from?
I am a black man and I can’t say I would like to get close to a white woman. More like they want to get close to me, they are obsessed with our features as we are the only race on this earth that has them. Kingly hair, big lips, big nose, dark skin, they also have this belief that we have a huge package. They never look for love in us, so every black woman and man out there should get over this mixed relationship thing.

AMEN

 "Kingly hair, big lips, big nose, dark skin, they also have this belief that we have a huge package. They never look for love in us, so every black woman and man out there should get over this mixed relationship thing. "

Jemba , it's your private thing and your People thing who do you date with . Just wanted to make one comment on what you wrote about obssesion with kinky hair , big lips etc .

From my personal experience - I have never planned to have relationship with a man of colour . I met somebody special and felt in love with him . I have never had relationship before with a Black , Brown , Yellow man .
How long , do you think , our relationship would last , if I were obssesed and fascinate only by his lips , hair , nose etc. ? We have a family and children ! With children comes responsibility . How crazy , sick and wicked person would I be , to get pregnant twice with a Black man only because I liked his lips , hair etc . What about my children ?

Anyways , I think I got your point . I think I know what you mean .
Maya

hotep

I am against mixed marriages. The most high made each species to live and breed with their own.You can go and do all the research you want on nature? Donkeys are not natural animals their man made. Lions are not attracted to buffalos and so on and so on. The royal families in Europe never interbreed with over races, not even brown eyes and black hair European woman. We have free levels of life on earth, minerals vegetables and animals. For some flowers to come into season and flourish they need male pollen from their counterparts and insects usually supply that. It is also the same with over minerals on the planet earth. Animals only have intercourse the in season in which they suppose to, they don do it every night. But with as human being sex has become very important and we have become obsessed with the opposite sex. Black man is fascinated with light toned woman and so is the black woman fascinated with the light skinned man. Europeans have an obsession with suntans and now big hips and lips. There is a big confusion within the human race, except at the top of the food chain. If you have given birth to children of mix race then you did it because you didn’t know the truth. Nothing that happens in this universe is a mistake; everything has its rightful place in the solar system. If you are one of mixed race you have your rightful place in your race. If your mother is a Bantu, then you are our distant cousin and if you father is a Bantu then you belong to the white race.

If it comes to nature , I look at this like that .
Cats and dogs do not go together because they are different species animals .
Different races dogs will mix together because they are the same species so are humans .

If it comes to European ' beauty ideal . In my country there is a still this kind of anorectic white woman ideal look .
It's a terrible thing really .Yes , they are crazy about big lips but not hips because they want to look like a thin vamipres
( Kate Moss etc.).
Sorry for my English I 'm in the hurry .
Peace .
Maya