An Apology you are NOT going to read in 'The Sun', 'Daily Mail' etc. etc.

From the satirical magazine "Private Eye", regarding the MURDER of newspaper vendor Ian Tomlinson by City of London police during the demonstrations against the G20 (I was there, coulda been me or any protester or just passer-by as Ian "Tommo" Tomlinson was):
"The Police; an Apology" from "Private Eye" issue #1234

In common with all other newspapers, we may have given the impression that during the recent demonstrations in central London, Mr Ian Tomlinson, a news vendor, died of a heart attack and was immediately attended by sympathetic police officers, who bravely attempted to resuscitate him while being bombarded with a hail of bottles, bricks and other missiles thrown by a mob of anarchists.

Headlines such as "Our brave boys in blue battle to save dying man from rioters", "Heartless anarchists hinder Met samaritans" and "String up these murderous leftie scum" {!!!!!!!} may have led readers to believe that the part played by the Metropolitan Police in the events surrounding the death of Mr Tomlinson was in some way commendable.

We now realise, having examined photographic evidence of the incident sent in by our readers, that there was not a jot nor scintilla of truth in any of the above. We are happy to accept that Mr Tomlinson was attacked from behind by an officer of the Metropolitan Police, wielding a baton, and was left to die on the roadside, comforted only by concerned members of the anarchist community. We would like to apologise for any distress or confusion caused by our credulity and laziness and our desire to cover our pages with pictures of Michelle Obama, rather than find out what's going on.