Man Marries Money

MAN MARRIES MONEY

4 hours, 20 minutes ago

United Press

NEW YORK- Today in Manhattan, a man has found a way to bond himself to his money-literally. In an unconventional ceremony in Central Park, lawyer James Donovan vowed to take his withdrawn savings of $100,000 to be his lifelong partner. With a clergyman as a witness, Donovan pledged to take honor and cherish his fortune, for better or for worse, in sickness and health, and in joy and sorrow. His local bank manager signed the marriage certificate

The "groom" stated that his decision for marriage was based on the shaky economy, as well as this society's reliance and obsession with wealth. "It's really not that unusual," he said, "this capitalist society revolves around money. People are willing to sacrifice their families, relationships, morals, and dignity for money. I just took it a step further. " Donovan claims that his marriage is in no jeopardy of ending in a divorce, and plans to spend his new monetary partner as freely as he desires. "The government can't take my money away from me now. It's all mine," he declared to reporters.

As for his attitude concerning his new "partner", Donovan said, "I couldn't be happier."
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