wezekana
Newbie
Posts: 99
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« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2007, 02:10:32 PM » |
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I big daughter has recently expressed an interest in growing locks. InI has explained, in depth, the cultural basis underlining the cultivation of the Ethiopian Crown and also the societal ramifications of such a stance, as it is a renunciation of certain widely held ideals and thus a hair-don't in many eyes and not an actual hair-do. Her Oma (Grandmother), I Queen and Mother, has pronounced her objections to the 'High-hair' but has made it plain that the choice should be neither my own nor hers... only the daughter's. She has already been made aware of the readily known misconceptions and facts concerning Sinter Klaus, Zwerte Pete, Christ Mass, Mithra, Ish-tar (Easter), the Solstices, fairies, sprites, spirits, jinns/gins, angels, spiritual ways of life and religions (Vedic, Islamic, Christian, Coptic and otherwise), and that has not deterred her yearnings.
That notwithstanding, the question occurs to me, "Why didn't I let she locks from birth?" Her mothers opinion was an issue... but I could have attempted to be more forthcoming in I desires or more persuasive in I approach. I didn't. Carrying locks, I believe to be an ordeal inna Babylon, similar to being black, because truly that's all you're doing and I wanted to spare my dearest this particular trial, at least for a while. Especially, I would believe, for a woman-child with so much emphasis here put on feminine accoutrement and such. In many if not most communities here a more extreme pressure is focused on conformity based on resulting privilege. Not good stuff is it.
Where locks are found, outside of true Black-Man or Rastafarian communities they are mostly showy, pretty locks and not, for the most part, the true kinky, coiled outgrowth of natural African hair. Most upsetting. So, for the child, even seeing some non-Rasta locks-people can be deceptive in essence and meaning and actually detrimental unless fully explained.
The choice, ultimately, is the parents, for unless they can find the wherewithal to leave it to the child, the hair will not plait or lock of its own accord. Once again I stress that it is the parent's choice whether or not their children will be what they are, and that naturally. The added emphasis should be put on showing rather than telling. If your livity truly expresses the ideals inculcated in your wishes for you children, such as a natural way of life, living this philosophy will more easily transmute these ideals to your children. Simultaneous living and learning experiences are desirable but personal choice (the child's not the parent's) will define the end result. Even if taught and shown a way a child may choose otherwise. If under the philosophy of freedom a child is allowed to decide that locks are not for him/her the reversal is more easily accomplished than may be thought, for both parent and child.
The fear that the child might suffer emotional or mental scarring from a temporary baldness is synonymous the with fear that they may suffer ridicule for their 'original' or natural differences and appearance and should be noted as such. Certain forms of humility must be experienced before the true roots of their ignorance and worthlessness are apparent. Cut hair grows quite rapidly, presenting no real danger to permanent self esteem. Refusal of one's own natural self for reasons of expressed societal norms shows not only a schism on the part of the individual personal psyche, but also on that of the collective society itself and cause more harm than the growing or polling of hair could ever.
You would be depriving your children of reality were you to allow them to believe for a moment that the hard earned gifts and the well wishes that you had secured and presented to them on whatever a day were brought down the chimminy by a dead, fat guy named Santa Claus. Likewise you would be depriving them of their own African attributes were you to disallow their natural growth due to societal connotations and pressures. You would furthermore be disallowing them full acceptance into (and in that some type of sanctuary from) a currently racially codexed society were you to allow them to be natural African beings, although this they as Africans will face anyway and the racial problem will never be surmounted if they are not allowed to present and thus confront this option. The original choice, similar to the one regarding their conception and survival, ultimately belongs to the parents. Choose wisely.
I apologize, for I have not laid out a specific plan of action, merely some thoughts. Incidentally, I daughter has decided to locks and I think it was good that she choose (or am I just happy see that see choose) locks over fashion and society. I wish I had not waited, but have been blessed by the end result. My eldest is... amazing. For her younger siblings I did no such thing, but instead have allowed them to grow as naturally as they please, yet again the end result will be of their own determinations. I can't even get my young man (2 years) to pull his locks out from in front of his eyes and he is offended when I attempt to do so.
Instead of waiting for a child to decide to be natural and then moving off into that sphere of existence I would let them be natural until they decide to do otherwise. Ultimately the end decision remains with the individual.
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