Black Females - ?Ideal Black Image?

[Makini]

'A girl Like me...'

http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2


Leslie posted this Documentary, studies renew debate about skin color's impact  but I think ppl may have missed this very powerful 7 minute link/video inside.

[Ras_Nevoe]

It was cool. I think we need to address this problem with solutions. We always talk about and hear about it, but we still don't know what to do about it. I myself is darkskinned and my family is from British Honduras(Belize) and most of my family is light skinned. I realize the difference in the way I was treated and it is sad to say that I recieved more hate for my complexion from dark skinned females than light skin females. I have what "they" would call "good hair"(curly or coolie hair). When I started to grow my locks my girlfriend at the time was a really dark skin trinidadian young lady, and she asked me very bluntly. "Why is it that when black people have 'good hair' they always wanna mess it up with those 'nigga naps'?" I was very offended, so I asked her "Why is it that when black people have beautiful natural kinky hair like Jesus, they always mess it up with poisonous hair products". I like my hair because JAH made it that way, but if I had a preference I would choose the kinkiest texture possible. Have you ever tried to lock curly hair? If you have then you know what I mean.

I love black, no matter what shade it comes in, but I think as people of darker complexion we need to love ourselves and stop looking for society to validate us by their european standards and values.

[Makini]

'I love black, no matter what shade it comes in, but I think as people of darker complexion we need to love ourselves and stop looking for society to validate us by their european standards and values.' True words definitely, the action needs to follow.

Well I think the subconscious is very conscious. I was sent the other link posted by Leslie to look at and went and saw this. I well thought the person who was sending me this was trying to send me a message (because it was pointed out to me before and I have found it to be true myself that I have a lot of 'fair' friends), but the person did not even see this link till way after a couple days ago. I was sending ME a message by over analyzing the innocent action of someone simply sharing a link/general information. I don't think it achieves much to be defensive especially when I know that what I saw in the video, I would have been calling out in similiar rhetoric if I was interviewed at that age.

I don't think I openly seek it, but by my choice of friends it is apparent that I find the need to be validated by ppl of lighter skin, why else would it be that the five persons I am likely to call up and say how you doing from secondary school are not just lighter than me but red per se and more fair than red in three cases. Actually only one of them can really be said to be African. The other five if I go out of 10, is quite similar, every last one is fairer than me or simply red.

I agree, I don't know what to do about it. I am entitled to have friends but the ones I chose I don't know, the people that matter are lighter. I have been thinking of this since last year and really looking at why I have the friends I have.

I have not recieved a lot of hate because of my complexion. It is in my personality to be cool with people and have them cool with me not that I perhaps can't seek out instances but they were not overwhelming or something that has bothered me. But I hear it and see it quite often.

I am dark skinned with hair that ppl often ask me if I am dougla or if one of my parents indian. I have two African parents, I get a rogue mixed 2% accounting for the curliness in my kinky hair. Perhaps its the friends I have but unlike you ppl do encourage me to lock my hair, all the time, it is sometimes messy or in plaits for long so they suggest I just go all the way. The rasta locks is not my thing, it is not around me. But then I read on one post about a guy he is/was Quaker deciding to get into Rastaferi, I have more influence/reason/inspiraton I presume than he does, it is just is not my personal choice right now. I am not so flattered by those who say I should grow a ras because it is more fashion to them and then nothing else.

Your dark skinned trinidadian girlfriend sounds like my mother. My dad has ras 2, 3yrs now but no philosophy behind it, just simply a change. My brother has ras as well but his liberal-ness and openess about all religious makes it clear that he too is not strickly a ras about Rastaferi. Before and since their choices my mother had been adamant about the whole hair thing, if I decide to seek out Jah or however else you wish to state it, I will get no slack from her. I say I will tape her one day, it is painful in a way because she doesn't hair the things she says. The classic phrase she uses is 'your ole nigga hairstyle'. It is hard to find where all this puts me.

[Ras_Nevoe]

I agree, I don't know what to do about it. I am entitled to have friends but the ones I chose I don't know, the people that matter are lighter. I have been thinking of this since last year and really looking at why I have the friends I have.

I have a son, he is 8 months old. My son is a caramel complexion, and his hair is the same as mine (curly). My wife is very fair skinned and her hair is very kinky. I don't prefer dark skin over light skin or light skin over dark skin, but I notice that whenever I get the usual stares at my locks and my ras garments I get an irresistable urge to show off my little light skin baby with "good hair". I know i'm not prejudice against dark skin because i'm more attracted to darker females. I know i'm not prejudice against light skin because my wife is, but what i don't know is why I feel the need to validate myself by the fact that my son is light. As if that's suppose to justify or explain my blackness. I think it's an inferior complex that's the problem, that's why we are so insecure about or complexion. I don't know exactly.

I am dark skinned with hair that ppl often ask me if I am dougla or if one of my parents indian.

That's funny. The Trinidadian young lady I mentioned earlier would always tell me I have "dougla" hair. What does that mean "dougla"? In Belize we say, "coolie" or indian


I still don't know what the solution is, but I know that we can overcome this. Think about it, before the black power movement, "Black is beautiful" was a joke. I think if we educate the kids about the greatness of the Negro Race they will love their blackness. For example they teach us that we are great athletes and entertainers and that's it. If you tell a white basketball player he play "black" he'll probably thank you and be flattered. If you tell a white musician he sounds black, he'll take it as a compliment. But tell a News reporter he "talks black" and he'll take up classes to improve his speech. Tell a white lawyer he argues like a black lawyer and he'll probably sue you for slander. You see what i'm getting at?

PEACE!

RAS NEVOE
Da Prophet

[Makini]

To balance off the comment on my friends, most other persons in my class were just not my shade but lighter, so naturally the probability of me having fairer friends is very high. But perhaps I should give up summarizing that scene.

I hope I don't get too much fire for saying this but in all this certain uncertainty, I can't help but say that your wife is the bottomline. Eddie Murphey probably liked/dated darker skinned women but who did he marry? Notice I did not say Cuba Gooding Jr. or Tiger Woods. But wives are often fairer than their husbands.

Well you are in the best position to call it as you see it with respect to your baby. Some might have passed it off as you being a proud daddy. It is just another reminder that we are not colour blind in this world, should we be? But that you know, you can use it to make better choices, that has been my take home message in all of this. Suppose your other child assuming you have another is born very dark or some shade darker than you, have you considered how you would act, though I doubt you would bundle him up or something like some scene out of The Chysalids. 

In short, my attraction in recent times has been for guys who are darker, like my complexion, but if they keep on taking their time about me and some fair skinned guy comes along why wait.

Yeah we say 'coolie' too, but 'coolie' is like 'nigger', I rather not go there. But indian hair is straight, dougla hair is wavy or usually means you mixed with indian and african or something that gives that wave/curl to your hair.

I like your trend of thought in the end, I see where you are going. But saying 'Black is beautiful' is to an extent still an illusion, because there is a set of modifications to the blackness, like all the poisonous hair products you speak of or bleaching creams

Einstein said Once we accept that there are limits we go beyond them. These are all things we know and that we will move more and more away from where it has been with time.

[Ras_Nevoe]

I hope I don't get too much fire for saying this but in all this certain uncertainty, I can't help but say that your wife is the bottomline. Eddie Murphey probably liked/dated darker skinned women but who did he marry? Notice I did not say Cuba Gooding Jr. or Tiger Woods. But wives are often fairer than their husbands.

nah that's not the case. Prior to meeting my wife, I dated mostly dark skinned females. If I had the preference I would have married a dark skin wombman. I didn't choose my wife, she chose me, at first I wasn't even attracted to her. We worked together and she would always call me her husband (as a joke) and our friendship grew into love. I can see where you got it twisted, though.

Well you are in the best position to call it as you see it with respect to your baby. Some might have passed it off as you being a proud daddy. It is just another reminder that we are not colour blind in this world, should we be? But that you know, you can use it to make better choices, that has been my take home message in all of this. Suppose your other child assuming you have another is born very dark or some shade darker than you, have you considered how you would act, though I doubt you would bundle him up or something like some scene out of The Chysalids. 

LOL I knew you would say that. It just so happens my daughter is dark skin and I am equally proud of both my kids. You're getting it twisted. I'm not ashamed of my blackness, I represent it in every aspect of my life. That's why I say I don't know why I get that feeling, I love blackness to the max if I didn't I would know why.

In short, my attraction in recent times has been for guys who are darker, like my complexion, but if they keep on taking their time about me and some fair skinned guy comes along why wait.

Do you know that, that is the story of my life. I was never good enough for a darker female, until I married my wife. They never gave "blackie" the chance to show them that he can be a good husband, father and provider.

 

[Makini]

Hey, I forgot about this thread...

Cool, is all a good vibe.

It is so true the last part, you there being yourself and no one interested, but the moment someone sees some development such as your case with your wife, they upps and on your back all the time. It is arguable the extent to which such attacks may be reasonable or valid.

The term colour blind is something I would really like to explore some more.


Positive vibes, Makini.