Overcoming my own mental slavery, double consciousness, colorism.

[professorK]

Let it be known that I am a black man with light skin- I look something like Vin Diesel or Damian Marley, if you know what those ppl's skin looks like. So anyways, black people can usually tell I'm black by my Afrikan nappy hair and facial features, but sometimes white people don't know I'm black, sometimes they think I am hispanic or asian or Arab or ... anything else you can think of. This is important to my story.

Being raised up by my parents in a almost all-black environment, and with my parents being proud and deeply interested in their African-American heritage and history (my parents are both from the segregated black ghettos of Southern USA), I gained an irrevocable sense of myself as black.

But then, I moved to a whitewashed suburban town for secondary school, and I began to lose it. This suburb had a history of KKK activity, and there were hate crimes and segregation still going on in the town.

I did the worst thing ever, something that has caused me spiritual pain for many years- I started "passing". If white people thought I was not black but white or hispanic or asian or something, then I wouldn't always correct them. I would let them think what they wanted to think I was. The black kids still knew I was "black" but they resented the respect I got from white people for having light skin. This percieved ostracism of the other black kids combined with the white supremacist nature of the suburban town made me feel lost, confused, and depressed. While on the whole other black kids didnt hate me or anything, I still felt uncomfortable because some people made comments disparaging me for being light skinned.

I can only beg for god's forgiveness and know that, he has shown mercy to me thus far and so I know there is hope for me to redeem my Afrikan heritage from the past few years of what could be called selling out my race. While I never fought against my fellow blacks, I consider it a failure of my own willpower that I did not stand up as boldly as I possibly could in proud defence of my Afrikan heritage, when in that white supremacist little town Black people were UNDER ATTACK. Instead of fighting, I hid behind my light skin as a defence against the extreme white supremacist racism in the town.

But you see, growing up in a racially polarized, racially hateful environment, having light skin but being black made it hard for me to fit in with either whites OR blacks. And I didn't really fit in with any group. For the first time ever I felt not comfort but paranoia in the presence of my black brothers and sisters.

What has brought me to facing my own "double-consciousness" is the fact that I truly despise this most evil of countries America. I consider the USA ato still be a COLONY of EUROPEANS who committed GENOCIDE on the NATIVE AMERICAN PEOPLES and built over it their wicked tools of slavery, nuclear war, and a culture of evil and self-destruction. I have immersed myself in the study of AFRIKANNESS and PAN-AFRICANISM at college. I have come to face the truth that as a black man in a white society, I have a DUTY to help my brothers and sisters and to fight against the wickedness that my ancestors suffered under and my brothers and sisters continue to suffer under.

I know some of you still may take me as a "wolf in sheeps clothing" or a fake Pan-Africanist, as too 'whitewashed" to be a true Garveyite. But not even the rejection, resentment, and mocking of my black peers can't stop me from the love I have for black peoples and my heartfelt urge to uplift us. The road to repatriation and redemption will be long but I have seen the truth that there is no other option for me. If I am to consider myself a proud black man I must work for this cause, my calling.

Thanks for your time, I just wanted to introduce myself and get my thoughts out. The Rasta Times website is an invaluable resource for me, I thank all of you patrons for providing this hub of African Unity.

[submissiverebel]

Greetings,
Wow, I appreciate your honesty and admire your bravery. Keep growing!
Peace

[Ras_Nevoe]

Greetings,
Wow, I appreciate your honesty and admire your bravery. Keep growing!
Peace

I second that.

In your last post, ironically titled "Lot of 'Wolf' in sheep clothing here" you stated:

Remember that even white came from black, even white have melanin, and even white can have love. Call me a leper-lover or whatever but to think the white race is all evil, or is going to be totally eradicated,

Bredren, no one has ever, in the history of this planet, so-called-earth, separate the white man from the rest of the human race and/or the Afrikan race, except the white man himself. That is the whole concept of his white supremacy. Secondly, I personally would never use violence or brute force against any living creature, unless i'm defending myself, and/or my family. I say this because I don't want you to get the misconception of who I am, cuz i've been categorized with people on this forum who have racists ideologies lately.

What I want to say to you is that you can't ALWAYS give white people the benefit of the doubt.
I speak from experience when I say to you that most white people are "wolf in sheep clothing". I won't get into the details of my encounters with white people, but you should have an idea coming from the environment, you came from.

Rastafari is for Inity among all the peoples of the earth, regardless of religion, creed, race, ethnicity, nationality, or gender. If a white man wants to become rasta I encourage that, but he must overstand first and foremost that the first priority of rasta is Black Upliftment(Afrika for the Afrikans). Secondly rasta is keen on freedom of thought, expression, speech and/or action, meaning no one can tell another man his views are not righteous, because they don't coincide with theirs, that's for Jah to decide. In the mean time that person should focus on plucking the plank from their own eyes.

I want to leave with a story. This story should give you an idea of how I regard most white people.

The Toad & The Scorpion

The scorpion asks the toad for a ride on his back across the river to the other side. The toad says, “No you will sting me,” and the scorpion says, “No I won't, I promise.” So with that, the toad agrees and the scorpion climbs aboard. Halfway across, the scorpion begins to sting the toad repeatedly. The toad in much pain, says, “What are you doing? You will kill me and we will both drown.” The scorpion replies, “I am a scorpion, it is my nature.”


Last time I told that story, I was called a racist, funny think about that is that my bredren Ras Mike told me that story to show how he views MOST whites, here's the funny part, he is a white Ras.

We Afikans can't help anyone until we help ourselves, first.

Oh I almost forgot. You said something about whites being eradicated. It is a proven scientific fact that within 200 years the white race will no longer exist, there will be no such thing as blonde hair and blue eyes.

PEACE!

[professorK]

Bredren, no one has ever, in the history of this planet, so-called-earth, separate the white man from the rest of the human race and/or the Afrikan race, except the white man himself. That is the whole concept of his white supremacy. Secondly, I personally would never use violence or brute force against any living creature, unless i'm defending myself, and/or my family. I say this because I don't want you to get the misconception of who I am, cuz i've been categorized with people on this forum who have racists ideologies lately.

What I want to say to you is that you can't ALWAYS give white people the benefit of the doubt.
I speak from experience when I say to you that most white people are "wolf in sheep clothing". I won't get into the details of my encounters with white people, but you should have an idea coming from the environment, you came from.

Rastafari is for Inity among all the peoples of the earth, regardless of religion, creed, race, ethnicity, nationality, or gender. If a white man wants to become rasta I encourage that, but he must overstand first and foremost that the first priority of rasta is Black Upliftment(Afrika for the Afrikans). Secondly rasta is keen on freedom of thought, expression, speech and/or action, meaning no one can tell another man his views are not righteous, because they don't coincide with theirs, that's for Jah to decide. In the mean time that person should focus on plucking the plank from their own eyes.
[/quote]

YES I this is the knowledge I came here for. Thanks much Rasta for the reality and knowledge. I had heard but forgotten that statistic that the "white race" was going to end soon, thanks to de-I for reminding. And about what was said about White people purposefully seperating themselves, thank the-I for helping I to overstand this situation. It is necessary for people of the earth to destroy White Supremacy's anti-cultural ways and stop fighting against black Inity before InI can make real progress to reconciling and healing. And you are right about the Toad & the Scorpion story. The white supremacist intervention in the rest of society has gone on for thousands of years and exists perhaps stronger than ever today. White supremacy has masked itself in other institutions such as Banking, industry, government, culture, into having people be controlled by White Supremacy without even realizing it. In that way the Toad and scorpion story is very accurate. JAH BLESS

[Ras_Nevoe]

...Blessed!



peace!

[afrikanrebel06]

Let it be known that I am a black man with light skin- I look something like Vin Diesel or Damian Marley, if you know what those ppl's skin looks like. So anyways, black people can usually tell I'm black by my Afrikan nappy hair and facial features, but sometimes white people don't know I'm black, sometimes they think I am hispanic or asian or Arab or ... anything else you can think of. This is important to my story.

Being raised up by my parents in a almost all-black environment, and with my parents being proud and deeply interested in their African-American heritage and history (my parents are both from the segregated black ghettos of Southern USA), I gained an irrevocable sense of myself as black.

But then, I moved to a whitewashed suburban town for secondary school, and I began to lose it. This suburb had a history of KKK activity, and there were hate crimes and segregation still going on in the town.

I did the worst thing ever, something that has caused me spiritual pain for many years- I started "passing". If white people thought I was not black but white or hispanic or asian or something, then I wouldn't always correct them. I would let them think what they wanted to think I was. The black kids still knew I was "black" but they resented the respect I got from white people for having light skin. This percieved ostracism of the other black kids combined with the white supremacist nature of the suburban town made me feel lost, confused, and depressed. While on the whole other black kids didnt hate me or anything, I still felt uncomfortable because some people made comments disparaging me for being light skinned.

I can only beg for god's forgiveness and know that, he has shown mercy to me thus far and so I know there is hope for me to redeem my Afrikan heritage from the past few years of what could be called selling out my race. While I never fought against my fellow blacks, I consider it a failure of my own willpower that I did not stand up as boldly as I possibly could in proud defence of my Afrikan heritage, when in that white supremacist little town Black people were UNDER ATTACK. Instead of fighting, I hid behind my light skin as a defence against the extreme white supremacist racism in the town.

But you see, growing up in a racially polarized, racially hateful environment, having light skin but being black made it hard for me to fit in with either whites OR blacks. And I didn't really fit in with any group. For the first time ever I felt not comfort but paranoia in the presence of my black brothers and sisters.

What has brought me to facing my own "double-consciousness" is the fact that I truly despise this most evil of countries America. I consider the USA ato still be a COLONY of EUROPEANS who committed GENOCIDE on the NATIVE AMERICAN PEOPLES and built over it their wicked tools of slavery, nuclear war, and a culture of evil and self-destruction. I have immersed myself in the study of AFRIKANNESS and PAN-AFRICANISM at college. I have come to face the truth that as a black man in a white society, I have a DUTY to help my brothers and sisters and to fight against the wickedness that my ancestors suffered under and my brothers and sisters continue to suffer under.

I know some of you still may take me as a "wolf in sheeps clothing" or a fake Pan-Africanist, as too 'whitewashed" to be a true Garveyite. But not even the rejection, resentment, and mocking of my black peers can't stop me from the love I have for black peoples and my heartfelt urge to uplift us. The road to repatriation and redemption will be long but I have seen the truth that there is no other option for me. If I am to consider myself a proud black man I must work for this cause, my calling.

Thanks for your time, I just wanted to introduce myself and get my thoughts out. The Rasta Times website is an invaluable resource for me, I thank all of you patrons for providing this hub of African Unity.





greetings of peace and serenity professork,from an afrikan born in brazil!

man,wow,this old afrikan neva stop learning,u opening urself up,is very humbling,my brother,you see,dont be ashamed as omali yeshetela says" dont blame the victim,blame the oppressor,who snatch the first afrikan against our will.." light skin thang,started during slavery,when afrikan womyn were raped by the masters and the colonizers,now my brother,imagine,this woman was just raped,she had two choices,either get rid of the child or keep the child,most of the times,they kept,sometimes,they wouldnt tell the husbands that the master raped dem,obviously,the husband would find out,because the child was light,as for me,i am native brazilian and afrikan,i tell most people,the amazon flows in me and the nile flows in me,my great grandmother was full afrikan,she wasa maid in portuguese house in old colonial brazil, the portuguese owner raped my great grandmother,so my grandmother was born,i take myself back in time and i imagine the pain and suffering of my great grandmother,as i heal ancetral wounds,i realize what our people went thru,thru th voyages of the transatlantic slave trade,white arabs also had afrikan slaves,thats why i dislike islam and christianity EQUALLY! and all the other aryan traditions such as hinduism.yes,indeed,billy holiday,was an amazing afrikan singer,with southern trees bear bitter fruits,nina simone,now in the realm of the ancestors,dont forget my brother,that momma africa lives thru you,by and thru your mom,she the conduit,the connection to your ancestors known and unkown, you ka,is connected to the universe,because you are the image of RA,also remember that our beloved continent went thru three invasions,the persian empire,( ottomans) the greco roman and the british was there,namaste and amandla and thanks for sharing your experiences,my ancestors honours your ancestors,humbly yours afrikanrebel

[nubianqueenx]

id like to find out from any wise rastafarian about the origins of aids, i would really appreciate your wisdom of the topic
much thanx-nubianqueenx

[wezekana]

I do not profess to be a wise Rastaman, but this brother just hipped me to some extremely interesting information on the subject of A.I.D.S. and HIV.

Greetings,
I am familiar with such arguments. I have not done enough reading to rule the or to give them my thumbs up but I believe based on reading that I have done(sources of which I put down in an earlier post) that whether there is such a virus[which is yet to be properly isolated] or not there are many more questions about the condition called AIDS which is confusing the matter. I would be glad to get your perspectives on some of the sources I identified. For if some scientists are questioning the existence of a virus called HIV or whether it is sufficient of itself or even necessary to cause a total breakdown of one's immune system(AIDS) then the issue of the creation of a virus in a lab is minimized. One must also be mindful of the fact that the disease was first called GRID(Gay related Immune deficiency) as it was first prominent among Gays(mostly white I would assume) who were also intravenous drug users. If you are indeed interested in the issue of AIDS I do recommend that you make use of the literature I identified in the prior post and then we can discuss further some of the critical issues involved. Here is a quote from www.virusmyth.com

"If there is evidence that HIV causes AIDS, there should be scientific documents which either singly or collectively demonstrate that fact, at least with a high probability. There is no such document."

Dr. Kary Mullis, Biochemist, 1993 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.

I think for one thing, we did not pay enough attention to Mbeki when he decided to stop using AZT on the advice of a Committee which he had put in place to look at the issue of AIDS. Its a complex issue but one that has not been looked at critically enough my many of our third world governments. This site actually has a number articles, recommended books and reasonings on the same topic which makes use of the available information, some of which I mentioned in the previous post.

blessings and love
Iniko Ujaama

www.myspace.com/liberationlibrary
blog.myspace.com/liberationlibrary

[nubianqueenx]

wezekana thank you so much for the information im terribly sorry that i didnt reply and say thanx sooner, my internet has been down thus i was unable to log on i just saw the notification now that someone had replied, ill definately check out the site you gave me, you talk of mbeki! are you south african, you can reply on my email adress if its not too much trouble "nubianqueenx@webmail.co.za"  but if its too much to ask you can relpy here on the reasoning boards
thank you again

 Regards
nubianqueenx

[cipherkam]

Peace My Brother,

Know one can judge you except for the Most High. Black&African is your natural birthright no matter how this babyonic system may make us act or feel at times. If all Black people were living out their destiny to their fullest potential, we'd all be free right now. We would have successfully boycotted, rebelled/revolted, lobbied politically, repatriated or demanded reparations etc...
So we all have some self work to do and self and kind love to give.

This here life is too short to focus on what others may think. When we're on our "death" bed or ready to transistion, hopefully then we can reflect on and balance out our deeds and all of the scriptures I read shows some level of forgiveness or justice. It's time for you to be you to the fullest and enjoy being the warrior that the Creator has made you. Consider what you went through a rites of passage.

Peace, hetep, salaam, shalom!

Your Brother,

Kamal

And yes this is a wonderful website!

[jonboch123]

How can Rastas repatriate?  I am sick of Babylon, but I have been living its ways for years.  I too am looking for a way out...a redemption.  I wish to no longer waste the gifts of God's Earth.  However, I am unfamiliar with how one repatriates and how one does so in a way that totally separates man from Babylon (no electricity, no white influence).  Brothers and sisters, how can I start my journey to Africa?