No woman No cry

[NigistNegest]

Greetings to one and all children of the most high father&mother of creation jah rastafari.


once was I what i call a wild girl, life was bitter & worthless it was hard to see the positive side of life.
So many lies many promessings for a better life ,no matter how many churches i went and times I prayed.Deep inside a lot was missing was feeling in a lot guilty and anger but life went on and I continued on the quest for a change mentaly spiritualy and physicle. within me I cry for freedom and identity.One day i took a pen and wrotte to jah a letter asking for a blessing my way of truth n love ,In the letter i said jah bless me wiith a LION a man of god who loves and treats me with right and loves is children and most naturaly the MOST HIGH JAH.
3 month later i fall in love with a carismatic,spiritual,loving, black rasta lion kinman.
a new i had renounced the old I cause i could feel it inside of me a transformation. I was born again.
litteraly this man played a big role on my developement and growth towards clearing my consciousness he taugh me alot about jah rastafari wisdom wakening the woman that i trully am GODESS MOTHER OF CREATION.
I got pregnant and right before my first born came to the world i lost my beloved mother and she left 4 teenage siblings,and an unemployed alcooholic father who as been pretty much a vegetable for the past 25 years.
Mama died of high blood pressure heart attack,now is my responsabilitie to bee my brothers& sisters keeper help them keep the motivation unto to the right path of righteosness and health SPIRITUALY .
my child was born just a month after i found out that i had contracted a type of STD somekind of skin bug erritation,that is called Fnat witch is sexualy trasmitted I needed treatment immediately,thanks to jah that was all that was in my body.
I came to know that he had 3 more children by 3 other woman a caucasian sister and black sisters one had just given birt to child tha same time as I,and he was having afair with other womens which he contracted this std´s in the first place , me and the 3 other mother of his children got infected by this negative virus.
after confronting him he apologizes but continued seeing other people.
He wanted me to accept his relationships with the other mothers of his children and that kind of lifestyle as he calls ROOTS MAN.

Still i came to be pregnant for the second time ,just this time i am seriosly considering having an abortion because i cant live with such manipulator, opresser ,sex adict,and have not mention  HE NEVER GIVES A DIME TO HIS KIDS, NEVER SPENDS TIME WITH THEM neither to the other mothers,we struggle alone.
i cant have a second babe right now when i dont know what and how to provide a safer and able enviroment to these potecial adults of tomorrow  all on my own ,and i cant stop thinking about my future.

I believe that must be a better day for me. what do i do?
the man dont work he never give any child suport, says he dont wanna work to babylon system but he got kids to suport,ive been struggling alone with allready one, i dont see how will i manage alone with 2

... if im wrong please help  me understand it, cant take the chance with children on the picture as a singel mother with a man of this nature. at the moment he has not a home hes sleeping day by day in all is babe mothers couch eating our food that we are keeping for the children...
help me someone give me a consciouss suport on this matter before i commit a crime before jah (abortion) because i know is against his principles  maybe im being selfish.

may jah bless and reward you for your atention on a woman i desperation

blessed love

[gman]

Greetings sistren
I don't have a lot of time on the internet today but I couldn't read de I's post and not try to say something.
First I should say I am a brudda so your best advice on this is not going to come from me, it's going to come from a sista, as I have never walked in de I's shoes.
With that said, I just gon say a couple things briefly:
Firstly... and I know de I might not accept this as "love" doesn't depend on "rationality"... but look nuh... Ice T had a song back in the day "Some of you n----s are bitches too", and this so-called "lion" of yours sounds like the definition of a "bitch" to me I'm sorry to say. Polygamy is a legitimate lifestyle as far as I'm concerned, but not when it's without the knowledge or consent of your partners! Then it's just "cheating"! Which is something I myself have done, I'm far from perfect and as subject to temptation as anyone, but when I cheated on my partner I at least made sure to use protection AND get myself tested to be on the safe side before I got back with her! Your "lion" doesn't even care enough about you to try to make sure you don't get diseases!
A member of my family used to deal with someone with a similar "rootsman" ideology, but (a) he never concealed it from her and (b) in those times awareness of AIDS and STDs in general was not what it is today, the idea that "only batty boy does get AIDS" was still widespread... there was just more ignorance in those times so it was a bit more excusable. But lemme tell ya I'm glad my family member left the bredren before he could pass anything on to her cos he ain't around physically no more!! (Rest in Uhuru bredz)
So the first thing you need to make up your mind to do is start a new life without this "lion", as hard as that may be to contemplate, because he plainly is not going to change. He has the right to be a father to his children of course but that's it, other than visiting the youths you should cut him off as completely as you can.
Now about the abortion. This is where I don't feel capable to give de I advice because of the simple fact that I will never be pregnant. So all I can do is tell you a true story. Many, many moons ago I did something stupid, I was new to the whole sex thing and I wasn't used to condoms, it was like wearing a blasted sock and I kept losing my erection in it. So me and homegirl (who was also a bit "fresh-faced" though not a virgin as I was at the time) decided we'd try the "withdrawal" method. Well needless to say it didn't work. Homegirl and I were both pretty scared as we didn't feel in any financial or emotional position to bring up a child. She said right away she was going to get an abortion. I made it clear that I was willing to be a father but I didn't put a lot of pressure on her not to do it - partly out of respect for it being her decision and hers alone, and partly to be honest because I was just as terrified of parenthood as she was - anyway I didn't pressure her one way or another. She went ahead and had the abortion (this was less than a month into the pregnancy).
She was plainly disturbed afterwards and so was I. She had dreams about it all the time. She asked the little girl's soul for forgiveness (she instinctively knew it would have been a girl despite it being far too early to tell). I don't know if she still thinks about it but I do. I can't help but wonder how my life would be different. She would have been a teenager now. I didn't feel ready for it at the time but I'm sure now that if homegirl had had the baby we would have adjusted to parenthood relatively painlessly. Cos when you really gotta do something you just go 'head and do it and it gets easier with practice.
I don't think abortions should be illegal as (a) it's mostly men who make laws and no man will ever get pregnant , and (b) there are just as many abortions when it's illegal, it's just that the mother is more likely to die along with the unborn child. I certainly don't think abortions are a good thing though. I do believe it is a life. I don't believe it's "murder" at one month when it's the size of a pea but at 8-9 months I feel like, come on now, have the baby, you can always put it up for adoption. If a baby can be born prematurely and survive perfectly well then I think there's a good case for it to be considered a "person" at that point... and just as no one can convince me that a week-old embryo without a nervous system can feel pain, no one can convince me that an 8-month old foetus that is a baby for all intents and purposes does not feel pain. I guess the thing is, where is the dividing line? Islam says "four months" but that seems pretty arbitrary.
Well I got to go. Notice I wasn't trying to tell you what to do or not to do on that issue, I will leave that for any sisters who might want to comment cos I'm not qualified to do so. Just some things for you to take into account before you go making a decision. Ask the voice inside for the final answer. But like I said, you need to leave that guy for good no matter how much you may love him. He has no respect for you, maybe he's deluded himself to think that he does but anyone who would expose their "loved one" to potentially deadly diseases is far from being a suitable partner.
I feel the pain in your post sistren and I do hope things get better for de I soon.
Guidance and I-tection

[gman]

Sistren check this movie:
http://www.assatashakur.org/forum/open-forum/25749-eyes-rainbow-assata-shakur-documentary.html

[EmpresKeneilwe]

Greetings,

I give thanks for the link Gman.

Sistren, all i can say is, i can only imagine the turmoil you're going thru. Your mother has gone to a better place.
I'm sure a lot of sistrens and bredens can relate to your story.  I, personally have never been in that predicament.

I'll say my 2 cents worth. If it was not intended for you to conceive this child, it wouldnt have happened. Everything happens for a reason right?!
There are a lot of women that are trying to conceive and are denied that opportunity. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. But a child grows, and with your financial status things must be hard. Your siblings are old enough to help you raise your little ones. You have people, your mother watching over you. You carrying that child is no mistake nor coincidence - it is meant to be. I know, it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but I strongly believe you have a strong spirit. The very fact that you realise this man is no good for you, shows you are not a victim. You have articulated your situation and trying hard to handle it like a strong black woman you are.

All the same, it's your decision. I meditate you do not act on emotions, but on reality. The child is already is already there - embrace it, that's all you need to do. The rest will follow. Keep your head up and stay blessed.

Dry your eyes African Child.
From one Queen to another
Strength and Oneness.

[NigistNegest]

Yes hail selassie I jah rastafari.

Brother Gman I woman give lots of thanks for your precious energetic reply. It made me see the light out of darkeness reliefe on this dramatic situation i put myself in...believe me i took all the positveness unto my soul and i can see progress on the way im aproaching this situation with a new confidence.
I apreciate a lot nuff love energy god.

[NigistNegest]

Thanks queen omega.

Sister EmpresKeneilwe .
words cant express the joy in my heart when i read your post I woman apreciate the strenght.
I overstand the rational aspects of your reasoning...i have faith in my self and also believe that for any great change and development comes a painfull process wether of life or death at this point i feel like i have to think about my self and my Son. cause i am the source of my walk of life...
again may jah bless you all the the days of your life

[SimeonLevi]

Greetings & Blessings on your journey NigistNegest

Joy for Life

ForwardEva


Levi