Sex and Sensuality

[akilah_dances!]

  :oI grew up with a skewed view of Sex.it was a dark adult secret that was not for children and teens.Ironically i was curious about it all my life and i  am still.It no longer means something dirty and am thankful i caught the mis information in time.
How ever it would dawn on me that though we knew about the physical aspects not everyone was aware of the sensuality and spiritualness of it except within the confines of Religion.Also some people seem to think sex is only physical some think it is only done within marriage.
I do not believe sex is sinful between two consenting parties as long as they are mature enough to understand all the implications,sex with minors is definiteley a no no .But i do understand the need for a certain level of self control.
Sex is so much more than a 'convenient screw',it is fun with the right partner and am not ashamed to say it is one of the most beautiful experiences one could ever create.
Giving teens 'basic' misleading sex information and a box of Rough Riders does not and will never solve the problem.They need to learn the truth about it .That its beautiful but its not a tool of manipulation nor is it license to lascivous behaviour without consequences and should be respected with the right information.
One can be sensual without wanting sex and one can be sexual without engaging in the intercoursal aspect of it.One can be both.
Sex is not only the act but what leads up to it during and after.
Also there is intimacy that adds to sexuality but does not neccesarrily mean sex.
However i have read on the Chinese, Japanese,  East Indian and European value system stem  but is there a book on the African perspective on sex and intimacy?
Can one have an orgasm without doing anything sexual ?

[M0k0]

Well I’m certainly glad Akilah, that you did cause I didn’t and had to spend a considerable amount of the last 15 or so years trying to unlearn and understand a lot of what was put in our heads.

Looking at the brief article I think that what you're trying to do is find that delicate balance between a sex-positive attitude, spirituality and physical/mental well-being as one goes about ones daily life. Not an easy thing to do when most of what we have been fed on regarding sex, intimacy, relationships was filtered through the tainted lens of one organised religion or another and reinforced daily by everything from love songs, rom-coms, and whatever else the media chooses to project.

I think that at this juncture it is very important that we directly, perhaps openly, face, examine, deconstruct much of the (bullshit) ideas we have been raised on regarding sex, relationships, intimacy and so-called morality. Doing so is vital in that by removing the ignorance and the culture of guilt that goes with it, we may prevent much of the sexual deviance, violence and irresponsibility that many well-meaning moralists are truly trying to prevent

But it’s more than that; for me, exploring the erotic is VERY much a political act and we need to find ways of tying this sexual assertiveness to moves that may bring about radical shifts in what we consider priority in the political and economic spheres.

Now me eh know any one book on African sexuality (keep in mind Akilah, that Africa is a vast continent with different cultural behaviours), but I can recommend this video that I came across just about a week ago and was trying to put it up and generate some discussions on it. Note that some of it is not in English as the filmmaker was a young Dutch woman. But in my opinion it is a very, very good documentary

http://www.dr.dk/tv/se/sexy-uganda/sexy-uganda#!

[Iniko Ujaama]

A lot of interesting points here. To me sex has to do with relationships. By this I do not mean necessarily the romantic commitment type relationship but how people relate to other people such as males to females, races with other races, families to families and so on and how that replicates itself within individuals. In African I think this would be no less so. How power and relations are structured in the various societies would have influenced sexuality. "Facing Mount Kenya" looks at how adolescents are initiated into approaching sex and perhaps other similar anthropological books do the same. There is also "The Spirit of Intimacy" by Sobonfu Some which looks at the male female relationships generally and does not go in depth about actual physical intimacy, just the way it is approached viewed etc.
In my experience the nature of sexual relations begin to form itself way before people make physical contact or even meet based on assumptions and ways of relating that have been ingrained even which parts of the body one is fixated on or the way one desires the bodies to be positioned is influenced by these conditionings and ones relation to the other person.

Many cartoons begin from even that early to socialize us into ideas of sexuality. Even without seeing it as dirty there are still attitudes to which one can be conditioned. Many thing contribute.

I came across this review of the book "African Sexualities: A Reader"
http://thinkafricapress.com/gender/african-sexualities-reader

It may be helpful. There are probably various books around and I have also been able to get a feel for attitudes toward the body and sexuality of particular cultures from interacting with persons from the continent.

Can someone have an orgasm without doing something sexual? A good question might be "What is sexual?" "What is the orgasm?" "What's its purpose?"

Very important discussion. Many of us are not even aware of how much of a role sex plays in our lives.